Being a boudoir photographer in the age of #MeToo and #WhyIDidntReport

The last year has been hard. As a woman who has been abused, this year has been SO hard.

Hiding your dark shame in the closet and pretending it wasn’t there was how most of us lived. It was still there, but there were fewer things that forced us back into that space. Fewer triggers, fewer reasons to have to bravely hold your breath as you grip the door handle to that closet, all the while reminding yourself it’s in the past, but I have to share it. Turning the knob slowly as you brace for the weight of your past, a dark and dirty past that now must be waved like a flag of solidarity to all the other women who have that closet as well…. all the women who have stayed quite all their lives because we’re taught that it’s OUR shame…

… But it’s NOT. It’s HIS shame that we’ve been coerced to carry.

I see this as a time of shame-shedding, a time for women to regain HER voice to speak her truth. This is the space I want to provide in my boudoir shoots. A SHAME-FREE place to explore your femininity as your personal power.

I actually like for us to kind of have a “dating” time before we do a shoot. I want to get to know you, and for you to get to know me. We are going to share an intimate vulnerable time during our shoot, and I want us both to feel comfortable and able to have fun with the process…

So, trying to look on the bright side of the current political what-the-fuck-ery, it’s helping us know which sisters and brothers are safe (or I should say safer), and who isn’t. And it’s allowing those among us with similar experiences to know we’re not alone… there are people who “get it”.

Regina SteedFord